Collision Course

I'm trying to get a feature off the ground, 10 years after a very successful run with "Weeki Wachee Girls" and 8 years after giving birth to twins. There - I've put it out there. I've been trying to get a feature off the ground ever since I made "Weeki Wachee Girls" and have been saying it for almost as long. At first, I spent my energies on the feature script version of "Weeki Wachee Girls" and started fundraising for it almost two years ago. Then the bottom dropped out of the market, and $200,000 felt like too much for me to raise on my own in this economy. So I put it on the back burner. At the same time, my good friend, Brian Dilg, talked about his experience shooting a documentary, "Truth Be Told" on HD with available lighting. He'd had a screening of it and people told him it looked great. He said you could shoot a feature this way. You just needed a script with a few actors and minimal locations. So I dusted off "In Montauk" and took another stab at it, re-writing it and turning it into a noir-type drama.

I've spent the last 10 months re-writing it, reading it in my writer's workshop, and talking to people about how to get it done. I've completely re-imagined one of the characters and attached Lukas Hassel to play the role. I've met with the management company and primary owners in our Montauk co-op, The Royal Atlantic, about shooting there this winter, and they are enthusiastic. But that's where the potential problem comes in. I'd hoped to shoot in January or February. Give myself time to really hone the script. Finish getting cast and crew together. The only problem, they are planning a big renovation this winter. Starting in mid-December. They will work around me as much as possible, but I really don't want to be shooting in a construction zone. It's supposed to be empty. Lonely. No one around. It's key to the story. So the question is, can I get ready that quickly? A big part of me wants to say, "yes" and jump right in. It's the only way to do it. And the mommy part says, "But what about the upcoming hellish holiday season?" In the next two months, I have the kids' birthday, my husband's birthday, my birthday (which I'd happily forego), Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah and Christmas. Yes, we are a hybrid household and therefore celebrate all Jewish and Christian holidays. My husband, ever supportive, says, "Go for it." I'm not sure if he understands quite what that means. I'm not sure I do. But for the next few months, our lives should be interesting. I will try to document what it means to make this film while still being "Mommy" or "Mom" as my son has recently taken to calling me. It will be fun if it doesn't kill me. Stay tuned for updates!

Sick Days and Holidays

I never knew how many days off my kids would have, both planned and unplanned. When I first got pregnant, I naively assumed that I would work in the kids around my schedule, with minor adjustments. Little did I know. In the last three weeks the twins have been home six out of fifteen days. Two of them were holidays, one was a protest day (mine) and the rest they were sick.

At first I'm relieved. They're too sick to go to school. I don't have to get out of bed. I don't have to go anywhere. We can just hang out and be together. Then after two hours of hearing "I'm bored" while I try to answer e-mail, update the website or whatever minor task I've set for myself (because there's no way I can write or make phone calls or edit with all of the interruptions) I give in and play Princess Monopoly. Twice. Then the paints come out. Then the Legos. Then the pillows and blankets. By lunchtime it looks like a tornado swept through my living room leaving it filled with the entire contents of our local Toys R Us. And I realize that I it's time to be "Mommy" with a capital M. There's school work to do. Piano to practice. A valuable lesson in cleaning up after oneself to be learned. All of which takes about an hour. By 2:30 I give in to their pleas to watch TV so I can lie down for a few minutes. By 4:00 they're bored again and I'm watching the clock trying really hard to restrain myself from calling my husband and screaming "COME HOME NOW!"

Planned days off are better, especially when I actually make a plan. On Veteran's Day we went into the Central Park Zoo with some classmates, another Mom and a babysitter. We ate pizza at a local restaurant. We ran up and down the big rocks in Central park and played on the cool rock-like playground attached to it. We ride the subway home tired and satisfied at a day well spent. And I think to myself how wonderful it is to spend time with two terrific seven-year-olds who will throw their arms around me on a whim. I wonder why do I have this need to write, to film, to tell stories? Why can't I be content just to be? Perhaps, I think, I can give it up.

They go back to school. I go back to writing. I write a scene that moves me to tears. And I know that this is something that I have to do. There is no choice. And so, I continue to pursue my dream between sick days and holidays and hope that in both pursuits, I am making the world a slightly better place.